In a Swiss valley

this was sent to me by my brother. You may have read it before, but I found it funny

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
Kate and Sarah .
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even
though it's only for £32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Today is my husbands birthday. 51 years old. last year we went to France, this year we go to work instead
For his birthday I bought him 3 bottles of beer - 2 Danish, 1 British, with strange names like, Black, or Brown sheep or similar, plus I got him a Sleeptracker. This is a thing that looks like a watch, that is supposed to track your sleep patterns and wake you up at the optimal point in a time window you set. It seemed like a good idea when I ordered it.
I had to pay customs duty though, which was annoying. Turns out it was being sent from Austria, despite the .ch at the end of the website address. I hate that when it happens.
And now it is wrapped up to give to him tonight. I am a bit afraid he may not be as impressed with the idea as I was though, plus of course, I guess it is not compatable with me setting an alarm clock. So he needs to try it when I am next away, which could be a while, as there is a travel ban in force in my company at present.
Ah well, he will enjoy the beer at any rate

I like autumn. Well, I like all seasons, although Winter is a bit nippy here.

Your Autumn Test Results

You are a energetic, warm, optimistic person. You approach everything with a lot of enthusiasm. When you are happiest, you are calm. You appreciate tradition and family. You enjoy feeling cozy. You tend to be afraid of change. You are never ready for things to be different. You find hard work to be the most comforting thing in the world. You like the feeling of accomplishing something. Your ideal day is active and full. You like to keep busy with your favorite things, and you appreciate a routine. You tend to live in the moment. You enjoy whatever is going on, and you don't obsess over the past or future.